Rollercoaster Ride – And so it begins #60

Note: This # is written retrospectively from a few notes made at the time, my brain function at the time was let’s say less than optimal. Perfectly normal apparently!

HHH_10_X_Ray_Room_Door.542daa5565b7eHaving set out the “nuts & bolts” of this phase of the treatment, I thought I would share the impact with you dear readers. The reality of internal radiotherapy, was, for me at least, regardless of my pragmatic streak & some appreciation  of how these things go;  in some respects, undoubtedly the worst week since I had to tell people that I had been diagnosed with cancer of the womb.

The words which came to mind when I was preparing to undergo treatment were pretty stark & negative: degrading, humiliating, cringe-worthy…

No matter how hard I tried to put a positive spin on it :this will make absolutely sure the NLBs are obliterated etc. I struggled over the weekend before kick off.

il_570xN.270623888I was already totally exhausted by the end of Week Four. I could quite readily have never set foot over the threshold of Springfield CC again! A few people were surprised that I had to launch straight into the Brachy treatment, but in all honesty; I think that a break would have made it more likely that I would have really struggled to go back.

I didn’t get the opportunity to opt out/run away/ or become The Doctor’s new assistant, my Cheerleader chauffeurs: Himself, Obie K &  Beth were unequivocally & resolutely kind but firm. When I suggested going for afternoon tea or Christmas shopping they ignored me, when I dozed in the waiting room they prodded me & , they chauffeured! Of course, we had to wait (it turned out that Monday & Thursday mornings are theatre lists & I know from past experience that theatre lists never run to time…).

But I’m here to tell you, having disembarked the Radiotherapy Rollercoaster that in the end it turned out to be a less difficult & upsetting process than I had anticipated, overall.

I’ve been told that Springfield CC is going to be extended with a new build on the same site. All I can say is it can’t come fast enough!  Location change meant that I had to report to the main waiting area in the old part of the hospital – bedlam! They have heaven knows how many hundreds passing through this bit during the course of the day; subsequently it is very busy, noisy & I found it quite unsettling.

Eventually, I was called around to the DXR waiting area, which is dingy, desperately in need of some distracting pictures or something to make it a little less grim. It’s the main thoroughfare for staff, patients on trolleys & not ideal really: but it is what it is!

kcs_04a46855I’d been accompanied by a lovely young radiography student & while I waited one of the male radiographers “Sous Chef” (more of that a little later) greeted me very warmly. I should have been delighted by this friendly face, but in all honesty I wasn’t. I had thought that the brachyradiotherapy department would be female staff only: silly really, especially as I learned later that they also treat skin cancer here. Now I really wanted the TARDIS to appear!

I was really relieved when Wished For (WF) emerged, calm, friendly & kind, she talked me through the procedure, showed me the equipment & didn’t rush anything.  Day 1 was certainly the worst emotionally. Having Ob inserted was painful & embarrassing, made worse by the unwanted arrival of diarrhoea that morning (thank goodness for Loperamide or I would have been terrified of having an episode while WF was preparing everything! It was a brutal reminder that I am still on the Cancer Rollercoaster.

I needn’t have worried about Sous Chef or indeed the student,while they stayed in the treatment room while I was checked in, helped on to the chair, they remained at the head end while all the preparation went on at the sticky end.

I managed to hold it together until everyone had left the room to start the zapping, but my back hurt, my legs started shaking after a few minutes & my vagina was so sore. I cried – not for long, but I did cry… I wobbled off at the end of it, utterly worn out: snoozed in the car & a pain-killer & hot water bottle later crashed out on the sofa, feeling more than a little sorry for myself.


Only four days to go…


Holly xx


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